Tekst napisala: Vildana Efendić, Gestalt psihoterapeutkinja
“Mir nije samo odsustvo rata nego i prisustvo pravde.” – Jane Addams.
U eksperimentu sa dva majmuna koji su radili određene zadatke davana je nagrada u vidu krastavca za uspješno obavljen zadatak.
Jednog dana je istraživač (primatolog Frans de Waal) dao jednom majmunu krastavac, a drugom grožđe, za isti urađeni zadatak. Majmun s krastavcem je pobjesnio i bacio krastavac na istraživača. Možete li zamisliti da životinje osjete nepravdu, kamoli mi?
Kada govorim o miru, ne govorim samo o fizičkom miru, bezratnom stanju nego govorim o miru duše, psihološkom miru. Poznati psihijatar Viktor Frankl je tvrdio da nepravda boli gore nego fizička bol.
Nepravda u nama izaziva ljutnju. Konstruktivnu ljutnju. Konstruktivna ljutnja je automatski i instinktivni odgovor na nepravdu. Ljutnja nam govori da je nešto urađeno ka nama, a što je nepravedno. Ljutnja nije problem. Problem je nepravda koja je izaziva.
Nepravda koja se ovih dana dešava u svijetu je enormna. Prvo u nama izaziva ljutnju, a kasnije i osjećaj tuge jer se ne može riješiti. Nije individualna ljutnja već kolektivna, a ako je kolektivna, onda je uzrok problema kolektivna nepravda, a ne naša ljutnja ili tuga.
Ljudi koji jače doživljavaju nepravdu od drugih imaju izraženiju kognitivnu empatiju i veći volumen sive mase u inzularnom korteksu. I to je bitno da znate…ne dajte da vas nazivaju osjetljivima!! Vi ste samo više empatični od drugih! Emotivna reakcija na nepravdu je validna…to je normalna reakcija na ono što je nenormalno, što se nenormalno dešava ka vama. Ili nekom drugom biću čemu ste vi svjedok.
Svako od nas je u životu doživio nepravdu, zbog nečega. I to užasno boli. Nepravda koja traje ostavlja na nas psihološki trag poput anksioznosti, depresije, bijesa. Sve zbog toga što onaj koji nam čini nepravdu ne priznaje da je nama čini. I to nas polako ubija.
Zašto ljudi dolaze na terapiju? Jer mi psihoterapeuti izgovoramo istinu..koja oslobađa..svjedoci smo vaših istina koje neko nije prepoznao ranije..i kroz to govorimo da ste bitni, da vas vidimo, razumijemo, da osjetimo što i vi osjetite. To samo je isceljujuće, a kamoli razne tehnike i intervencije kojima pomažemo da se poboljša vaš ego, vaša slika…da budete sebi bitniji…da izliječimo taj bug/nedostatak koji vam je ubrizgao taj moćni nepravednik.
Zato, sljedeći put kad neko dobije grožđe, a vi krastavac…bacite ga na glavu moćnom nepravedniku!!
Imate pravo na to da budete ljuti…imate pravo na to da vrijedite, da ste sami sebi najbitniji…pa makar bacali taj krastavac svaki dan iznova i iznova. Samo nemojte odustati od sebe! Od drugih možete..od sebe nemojte nikad!!
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English language
“Peace is not merely the absence of war, but the presence of justice.” – Jane Addams.
In an experiment with two monkeys who performed certain tasks, a reward in the form of a cucumber was given for a successfully completed task.
One day a researcher (primatologist Frans de Waal) gave one monkey a cucumber and another a grape for the same task. The monkey with the cucumber got mad and threw the cucumber at the researcher. Can you imagine animals feeling injustice, let alone us?
When I talk about peace, I’m not just talking about physical peace, a state without war, but I’m talking about peace of the soul, psychological peace. Famous psychiatrist Viktor Frankl claimed that injustice hurts worse than physical pain.
Injustice makes us angry. Constructive anger is an automatic and instinctive response to injustice. Anger tells us that something has been done to us, which is unfair. Anger is not a problem. The problem is the injustice that causes it.
The injustice that is happening in the world these days is enormous. First it causes anger in us, and later a feeling of sadness because it cannot be resolved. It is not individual anger but collective, and if it is collective, then the cause of the problem is collective injustice, not our own anger or sadness.
People who experience injustice more strongly than others have more pronounced cognitive empathy and a larger volume of gray matter in the insular cortex. And this is important for you to know…don’t let them call you sensitive!! You are just more empathetic than others! The emotional reaction to injustice is valid…it is a normal reaction to what is abnormal, what is abnormally happening to you. Or some other being that you are a witness to.
Each of us has experienced injustice. And it hurts. Injustice that continues leaves a psychological mark on us such as anxiety, depression, anger. All because the mighty one who wrongs us does not admit that he does it to us. And it’s slowly killing us.
Why do people come to therapy? Because we psychotherapists speak the truth..which liberates..we are witnesses to your truths that someone did not recognize before..and through this we say that you are important, that we see you, understand you, that we feel what you feel too. That you matter! That’s healing in itself, let alone the various techniques and interventions that we use to help you improve your ego, your image…to be more important to yourself…to cure that bug/deficiency that was injected into you by that powerful Other.
So, the next time someone gets a grape and you get a cucumber…throw it at the head of the mighty unrighteous one!!
You have the right to be angry… you have the right to be valuable, to be the most important to yourself… even if you throw that cucumber over and over again every day. Just don’t give up on yourself! From You can give up on other…but never give up on yourself!!